My mum and brother were in the middle of an argument when I reached home. He was essentially accusing her of mistreating Ricky, who apparently had a bad fall this morning, hadn't been able to walk properly and was refusing food. My mum, on the other hand, got all worked up and accused us of caring for the dog more than we did for her. Completely upset with the state of affairs and anxious over Ricky, I felt so lost for a moment and just wanted to avoid all three of them. In the heat of the moment, my mum was ignoring me, too. When I'd finally gathered my composure, I worked with my brother to attend to Ricky and put him to bed. He was calm by the time we were done with Ricky.

'Show more care for your mum,' PJ told me as I cried into the phone. It's hard, I told him, because it's not in our family to show care and concern. But as it turns out, it was not that hard. After I took my dinner, I approached my mum who was sitting by the fridge. 'Finish the peaches! It's taking up space in the fridge,' she snapped at me. Normally, I would have walked away without a word. But tonight, I meekly said okay and took the peaches. Then, I pretended to read the papers in front of her while she was watching the news. And that's when she started talking and telling me what exactly happened today; how much pain she had to go through to take care of Ricky; how angry she was with the words flung carelessly at her; how we should just put Ricky to sleep etc etc. I didn't speak, for fear of saying the wrong things even though I was pretty upset with what I was hearing. But once she got everything out of her system, we started discussing the rather ridiculous but curious tale of the oracular octopus of Oberhausen. And that's when I knew she was all right already.

She had just visited the doctor for her regular check-up today and I had only just found out. From her point of view, I can see why she thinks we care more about Ricky than her. We came home, got all concerned about Ricky and did not once ask about her day. So I made a deliberate effort of asking about her check-up and getting her to talk to me about it. I guessed that helped to soothe her further...

Sometimes we take it for granted that our parents will always be the one caring for and taking care of us. Sometimes we forget that they are just like us - they get tired, grumpy, emotional and seek care and affection; and need a listening ear, too. Sometimes we just need to have a role reversal and take care of them, too.

Taking Flight

I don't want to fight anymore.

And I think I can finally walk away with my head held high.

Take flight.

Once you want it to begin,

No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

What A Difference A Day Makes...

... and the difference is you.

:)

A Winter's Tale

I will always remember.

Because that represented all that we could have been; all that we actually were; and all that we couldn't possibly have been.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story

Happy Birthday to ME! :)

After almost an entire week of continuous feasting (steamboat, ma maison, kyoto, brotzeit, mondo mio), it culminated at Absinthe with king prawns with chorizo and pine nuts, pork belly, rabbit leg, seabass with warm soba, white wine, coffee and this:

No pictures so I drew this from memory

I am BELLY happy and very happy.

:)

Lilac is the colour of bliss

Not my colour.

Not my style.

But because my mummy bought this as my birthday present, I will wear it.

:)

2 years on

What a ride it has been.

And through it all, I am glad to have 2 friends who are actually supportive of it, regardless how precarious or doomed the situation is.

Thank you c & y for your irrational faith and support.

In the year ahead, I would like to...

1) Practice empathic listening. Avoid autobiographical responses. Diagnose before I prescribe.

This is from one of the priorities I set after my 7-habits course. How many times have I appeared to be listening, but really I have drifted off; or am listening in order to respond or give my own advice; or judge base on my own experiences or motives? Empathic listening is perhaps one of the hardest to achieve.

2) Write more

3) Take good pictures.

For that, I will be signing up for basic digital photography lessons this year. Know my equipment before I can express through my lenses.

4) Read more

5) Love more

Cheers to a brand new year. May our lives be filled with laughter and love. :)