"It was a decade in which nothing good happened, and none of the optimistic things we were supposed to believe turned out to be true."
Zero. That's 2009 for me. It is perhaps the most uneventful eventful year. An oxymoron. Many things happened, but nothing really happened.
I started the year convinced that I was going away; to a fresh new beginning. But less than halfway into the year, I realised it was not meant to be. For so many reasons, I couldn't and didn't want to. And so I left and returned to where I'd started - HR. Full circle. Instead of being the good little grateful officer that I was supposed to be, I had to send in my application for another job (overseas again) and caused quite a little disturbance with the superiors; only to realise I had sent the application to the wrong email address... "It was God's way of telling me that it's not time yet," I told my boss. And so the days passed by peacefully again.
On the dating scene, I tried dating a few guys. Rather hi-po (for the uninitiated, it stands for high potential in public sector speak) ones, I had imagined. Guys that I thought were charming, funny and/or nice. And I actually kinda liked them. BUT. You all know my funny horror stories. I am a magnet for strange, sad guys... Twice, I tried to walk out of this current situation. I cried my heart out and actually felt my heart aching and was convinced I had to move on. Yet each time, I fall right back in and here I am, still in status quo.
But if I could do everything all over again, I would because each one teaches me a valuable lesson. The former painful stint made me cherish my job and realise what I am good at. The current situation is teaching me... whatever that I need to learn.
Of course, 2009 was not a complete zero lah. I completed my first mini-marathon (10K haha!), started learning guitar (I am so giving up soon...), committed myself to photography (new body + lessons next yr!), stayed committed to yoga, spent more time at home (housework on Saturday mornings, time with Ricky), went for 2 entirely spontaneous trips (Bangkok and London), found out that I could handle 75% alcohol, found out that I COULD NOT handle caipirinha (gives me a heart attack or allergic reaction), realised my true friends and that I am a terrible snorer (SHIT).
I guess 2009 was really a year of self-discovery. Realising just how much shit I could handle and/or internalise.
Cheers to that.
1 comment:
I think life is not just about making few mistakes, it's also about having few regrets.
Yours didn't really sound like mistakes - sounded like a necessary part of the self-discovery, a process which I think only the brave ones will undertake and that I believe they will be better for it...it's only if one keeps rediscovering the same things is when one shd take a hard look and strip it of any unintended sugar-coating.
Here's to another year ahead! I really like your love for life.
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